The World Today

I received a phone call this week from an individual that I have worked with in the autism community. She has several children, one of which has severe autism. She is a single parent. She is muslim. She called to ask for help because she is receiving death threats for supporting terrorists. I didn't know how to respond. I still am at a loss for words. Somehow I managed to tell her that I was sorry for how she was treated, that she was a great person and parent. I then offered myself as a way to help, since I had no resources to help in this area. She said that knowing that I didn't judge her was enough help.

I plead for you to look at your actions. Muslims aren't the enemy. Terrorists are... and they are already here in America. They are the ones committing mass shootings; over 1000 have occurred since January 2013 resulting in over 1250 American deaths. (https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/10/12/there-have-been-1001-mass-shootings-in-america-since-2013/)

Some people don't want the refugees here because we have our own issues to deal with in America. There are currently 600,000 homeless people(Source: wikipedia) in the United States. For those who use this excuse, when was the last time you donated to a pantry or sat on the foodline at a shelter handing out food? Guess what, if we really wanted to help our homeless, lets start putting them in one of the 18 million empty homes in America. That's a good place to start. Or.... 

As some people say, where would these refugees go? How about in one of those 18 million empty homes? 

If you are one of those that say, I don't want my tax dollars paying for welfare, please consider that of your tax dollars taken monthly, only $85 dollars goes to welfare programs. That's it. $85. That's not that much, and if that means one family and children can go without being hungry, even if there are a few bums in the bunch, it's worth it. (and in case you didn't know where the rest of your tax dollars go... (http://hubpages.com/politics/How-Much-of-Your-Tax-Dollar-Really-Does-Go-to-Help-the-Free-Loading-Indigent-Ought-to-Get-a-Job-Americans) 

So let's see, we have 18 million open homes, we have $85 dollars a month, per person, to help those that need it, and we think we don't have enough resources to go around for all? Something isn't adding up here. 

Then there are the people that come out and just admit it: They are afraid. But here's the thing:The more fearful we are, the more we give up pieces of ourselves, the more those people win.Bad things happen all the time and can happen anywhere. You can't control it.  I choose to live my life, without fear. If it ends tomorrow, so be it, but i won't restrict who I am and what I love to succumb to fear. I don't want to have my freedom and liberty extinguished because of fear either. Ben Franklin said, "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." I feel this to my core. You are NEVER completely safe, so why give up your liberties and freedoms for additional safety?

Finally, not a point against having them here, I have to address the fact that this is completely against our American ideals. This is America; the land of opportunity. The place where our ancestors came to escape religious persecution and establish a country that valued life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness..... but yet we won't let refugees from Syria here because they are muslim. Does that make sense? And if it does, you should be ashamed. If it doesn't and you still think they shouldn't be here for any number of reasons, please see above. 

I know some will disagree with me. That's ok. All I ask is for you to NOT be ignorant. Don't believe what the media tells you, or fails to convey. USE YOUR BRAINS. Stop perpetuating ignorance and hate by learning something TRUE. 

Finally, don't be afraid. If you are living your life right, there is no reason to be afraid.Love always wins.

Saying Goodbye to My First "Baby"

Eight years ago, my husband and I moved into our first apartment together. It was also the first time I had lived outside my parents home. It was a hard time for me. Most young people are probably all about getting away from their parents and spreading their wings; I wasn't. I never wanted to leave.

Two months after we moved in together, I was still sad all the time. Our apartment was broken into and I was devastated. Not only did I feel separated from my support system but I also felt violated. It was then that we decided we needed a dog. 

We went to the animal shelter looking for a big dog, a lab, one that would "protect" us. While we did see many labs, there were only two dogs that caught our eye. One was a Jack Russell Terrier called "Danny", the other, was a small dog too, but I don't remember much about him. We were able to go into a "greeting area" to interact with the dog we were interested in. As soon as Danny was outside, he urinated 3 times and had 2 bowel movements. I was instantly sad because, in the shelter many of the dogs just went in the corners of their cage, but here he was holding everything in to keep his area clean. I knew then that I needed this dog. 

The next day we paid our fees and picked up Danny. The night before we had discussed changing his name to Lucky. We said he was lucky to have us, so Lucky became his name. The picture below was the day we brought him home.

Lucky was very timid at first and we were able to see signs that he had lived a life of abuse before us. Whenever we raised our voices, he would urinate. Whether we were raising our voices for happiness or out of frustration, the reaction was the same. This was something that we worked on by not raising our voice, not showing excitement when he came near. Eventually his urination stopped because he knew that we were safe to be with. 

If you know anything about Jack Rusells, they are one-owner dogs. That is not to say that they won't listen to other people, but they are very attached to one person. That person was me. Lucky was like my baby. I took him places with me, laid with him on the couch, and even let him sleep with me. He was my best friend and he came at a time when I needed him most. 

Lucky was a typical Jack Russell; full of energy and excitement. He also thought he was a lab. He could roll with the big dogs in my family and put them all in their place. He was definitely an alpha male. One of my favorite things to do was take him to my parents house, where they have land and say, "Run Lucky, Run!" He would run so fast; tuck his legs and run in circles. He loved to run. The picture below is Lucky and his Cousin Dog, Bailey. Bailey was just a pup and still bigger than Lucky.

We called him fatboy... not because he was fat, but because he looked beefy. People would often ask what breed he was because he was solid muscle (he's a shorty-jack russell) .

He was so receptive to the things that people would say. If you said any of his "choice" words, he would turn his head from side to side, ears up, and eyes wide. He would lick you when you came to the thing he wanted most. 

Lucky loved to eat; his absolute favorite thing was peanut butter. One morning I came downstairs to find he had eaten an entire box of peanut butter girl scout cookies! 

He was so smart; it only took one time to tell him something or show him something and he never forgot it. 

He always greeted us when we came home. When he was younger, he used to follow me from the front door, to the bathroom, then sit on my lap as I went to the bathroom and licked my face. 

He loved Chip (who I posted about a year ago when she died); he liked playing with other dogs, but he LOVED chip. I would say her name and he would go wild. 

He was really intuitive; he knew when I was pregnant with my son before I knew I was pregnant. I remember asking my husband, "What is wrong with this dog? Why won't he leave me alone?" He was always my protector. 

When my son was born, he started splitting his sleeping time between my bed and on the rug in my son's room. When my son got a toddler bed, he shared the bed with him at times. He was my son's protector too. 

Last spring when I had a miscarriage, it was Lucky who laid on the bathroom floor with me while I cried for hours. 

Tonight I will come home from work and take him to the vet to be put to sleep. He has cancer, and the tumors are now too much for him. He looks miserable, his breathing is labored and he just isn't happy like he used to be. My heart is broken. I don't know why I thought this dog would last forever, but I did, foolishly. I will have to say goodbye to my first baby today. 

I will come home from the vet and not be greeted by my friend. 

I will go to bed without him for the first time in 8 years. 

I will not be followed around the house, and comforted when I am sad. 

My life will never be the same. All because of a dog named Lucky, who I thought I was saving. In reality, I was the lucky one. 

Rant: Family

This week marks my son's birthday. While this is a fun time for him and the majority of my family, it's also a time that year after year I am reminded of who I as a person. I am also given the opportunity to grow.

While I will take that opportunity to grow, that doesn't mean that I am ok with the current situation.

There are certain people related to my son who think that they are entitled to be involved in his life because they are blood related. It's all about the blood!

So here is my rant.
(Steps on soapbox) Just because your blood runs through my child's veins does not mean that you are entitled to being in his life. If you want to be in his life make the conscious choice to know him as a person and be involved. Don't blame me when you never get to see him and why he doesn't know you. He doesn't know you because you choose to be involved when it's convenient for you... for your own selfish purposes. Oh hey, it's his birthday this week... and now you want to come see him. Shock. You know what? He's a freaking AWESOME kid, and while it's your blood in him... he's every bit of me. He's driven, ambitious, creative, a smart-ass, stubborn, sweet, little boy... who will one day be a great man. Not because of your blood, but because of mine. Because we show love. We live love. WE ARE FAMILY, not just because blood and genetics tell us that; but because we live it everyday. Family is more than blood. It's actions. You don't like me; I don't care and I never will care. But you know what, because you don't like me, I have a hard time understanding how you will ever like my son.... because he's JUST LIKE ME. Go ahead and tell yourself that he's like his father. You don't know any of us..... your own son included.

So there's that. You aren't entitled to him because of his blood. You aren't entitled to him, period. He's mine. He's his father's. He's a product of the group of people that I call my family, and they know it's more than just genetics. It's about being there, loving and supporting each other, and taking care of one another.  You don't understand that. You'll never understand that.

I normally feel sorry for you and the limitations you create in your life. Today, however, I am frustrated.

I feel sorry for you

There is someone who has been involved in my life, through another person, that has said repeatedly that not only I, but my husband and family think that we are better than others.

I always find it interesting when someone says this about another person because it has no bearing on the person the phrase is being spoken of, but it says volumes of the speaker.

It tells me the speaker is envious. Envious of the person to whom the are attempting to degrade by making such a statement. Envious of their life, how they live, and how they react to others.

It tells me that the speaker is aching. Aching to have a life that is full of value.

It tells me that the speaker is small in action and mind. You can't make statements like that and not be a small thinker. Of all the things going on in the world, of all the things in life that matter, worrying or becoming upset about someone else's personality should be the least of your small minded worries.

When I think about why this person would say things about the people I love, it all makes sense. We have love. We have happiness, we have support, and we have togetherness. We have the things that other people are envious and/or aching to have.

So, to the person that continues to think that me, my husband, and my family think we are better than other people.... go ahead and tell yourself that if it makes you feel better. Really, all we care about is each other; loving each other, supporting each other, taking care of each other, and being the best persons we can be for ourselves. If that makes us better than others, so be it.

I am sorry you feel that way. I hope that one day you find the happiness in life that we as a family have.